Hollowness of ‘Are you feeling better?’

“Are you feeling better?”

This is such a emotionless question. No?

What if I say no…what are you going to do? Will you make it a mission of yours to make me feel better? How do you know what makes me feel better? Or better yet, how do you know I will feel better after you completing your mission of making me feel better?  But is there an alternative? Can you really do something to make me feel better? Maybe you can and maybe you really want to do something to help me, but is it possible that I just need to be by myself? That I don’t need you to do anything.

I think I am not good with silent understandings…I feel like I need to be actively taking some sort of an action if I want to make the other feel better. I think that by doing so my actions are speaking louder than my hollow words of ‘Are you feeling better?’

But if I were to put my own self in that space, I do realise that at times, words are ok. Not everything requires a grand gesture, sometimes I just need the other person to be around for my random bursts of self pity or revelations that I may have. I don’t want them to feel they need to be in action to help me through my issue or whatever it is I am going through. But I also realise that not everybody is like me…maybe they want me to take suitable action, maybe they need me to do something that will help them feel better.

Sigh!

I do wish we were taught all these things in school..maybe then we would feel better….

Seoul (Mono By RM)

Lyric Translations Credit: Doolset (twt: doolsetbangtan)

Trigger Warning: explosions/blasts/violence/poverty/hunger

To me, the track Seoul feels like home.  It speaks to me probably because that’s the way I feel about the city I live in. The city I have been born and raised in. The city that is my home for the last 30 odd years…but I find it difficult to call it my home.

It is the financial capital of my country, the richest industrialists reside here but the city is also home to Asia’s largest slum. 

It is known as the city of dreams, one will not be turned away, but the city gobbles up lives and leaves one hopeless too. The city has the grandest glittering film industry and yet the darkest, most dangerous violent underbelly. One of the safest cities in the country but always on alert for bomb blasts & explosions. 

We have the kindest people here but no one will help you if you fall on the roadside. We have the world cuisine on a platter, yet thousands sleep hungry…hungry for food, hungry for fame, hungry for money…but hungry. 

I am surrounded by concrete buildings where I don’t know who lives next door but I talk freely to the moon in the sky which peeps in when it can free itself from the smoke clouds. I am in the midst of concrete jungle but encircled by the forest where a leopard is often spotted out for a stroll. My childhood friends live but a stone throw away but it still has been years since we met.  

This has been my home and yet I feel alienated here. I know the roads and the buildings and the sea..oh the sea! The beautiful, calm, dirty sea..dirty with the secrets it holds, dirty with the sins it has cleaned…

Am I part of the city or is the city my identity? Am I as ruthless and indifferent or have I learned to be kinder? 

I know I don’t’ like living here, but I also know I won’t like leaving here. I don’t love my city and I don’t hate my city…I just have very strong feelings about it. 

Seoul

If love and hate are the same words, I love you, Seoul

If love and hate are the same words, I hate you, Seoul

Seoul

If you want to have a listen: https://open.spotify.com/track/73ipE4lfZ53pvBbJPXkiEK?si=e9447596bdc04185

The world is but a party

The best place to see the world partying?? It is the beach!
One can never, ever, ever go wrong with the beach.

There are just so many people swarming around and yet it’s not crowded, you don’t bump into one another, you don’t feel suffocated, you don’t feel claustrophobic.

It is the place for everyone’s joy; it’s a shoulder for anyone’s tear. The beach is a silent listener and if you listen closely, it talks back too!

It gives you tools to make it beautiful. It guides you to portray yourself as a doer. It doesn’t stop you from using its resources when it knows how true you are to the art that you wish the world to see. It doesn’t mind the world forgetting its contribution and instead appreciating you for being the artist that you are.

The beach welcomes all, with an open heart and with an open soul.

You are never alone on a beach but you are not in anyone’s company either. It’s just you and the beach. Its soft waves crashing against your feet tickles inner most senses. Not corporeal but poignant nonetheless. The low humming of the sea sings a song, a tad in out of tune but fits well with the range of emotions only a human mind is capable of. The mélange of people is not disquieting. If anything, it’s beautiful to see so many contented faces, it makes me aware that there is still a load of joy in this world left to be explored. Some faces in the crowd hark back of someone you used o be, others remind of what you may become.

There are families, couples, children, hawkers, beggars…..the list goes on. There is no limit on who can or cannot be a part of this huge gathering. Not a soul is out of place. There are experiences that touch your very soul, and then are a few that make you laugh your heart out.

What strikes the mind; yes the mind, is that this beach can also be harsh when it feels the need to be. It can lash out with a mighty force. The sight is frightening to say in the very least. If it can open its soul to welcome you in, it can also shut you out. It can close its doors on your face. It asks to be treated with a little respect and with kindness.

The beach expects you to enjoy the party and enjoy it as your own. But it also asks for you to consider that it belongs to you and you only and be treated in the manner you would treat yourself.

Holi and its Holiness!!!

Holi is a festival that is one of my favourites. It has everything. New clothes, sweets, fun, laughter, joy and above all a vibrant hue to it. Literally!

The festival of Holi is celebrated over two days. The first day or rather night is known as ‘Holika Dahan’. To put it forward very crudely, we light a bonfire on the night before Holi and go around it chanting mantras and thanking the Lords for our good fortunes. But no. That is not how I can describe this beautiful festival. True, a bonfire is lit, and people go around it, but there is a huge scientific and mythological significance behind.

First, let us get over with the scientific part of it.

Holi comes at time where (ideally) the weather is moving from winters to spring. This mutation of winter and spring increases the growth of bacteria in the atmosphere, which in turn may be harmful for the human body and induce illness. When Holika is burnt (Ceremonial pyre), the temperature rises to about 63 degree Celsius. Following the ancient tradition when people do the parikrama (going around the pyre), the heat from the fire kills the bacteria and thereby cleansing the body and reducing the chances of illness. Thumbs up for our forefather’s scientific accuracy!!

Mythological legends and folk lore speak of the legend of Prahlad. The legend says there once lived a devil and powerful king, Hiranyakshyap who considered himself a god and wanted everybody to worship him. To his great ire, his son, Prahlad refused to recognize Hiranyakshyap as his lord and worshipped Lord Vishnu. To get rid of his son, Hiranyakshyap asked his sister, Holika to enter a blazing fire with Prahlad in her lap, as she had a boon to emerge from fire unscathed. Legend has it that Prahlad was saved for his extreme devotion for the lord while Holika paid a price for her sinister desire.

Mythology states that when we light the fire and go around it, we are praying the Lord to burn our sinister desires and wrong doings and purify our souls.

The next morning is when the real fun starts!!! The festival of colours walks in with all its hues filling the air! But the festival in itself has different reasons for it.

Interestingly, playing with colours too has a scientific reason to it. Due the seasonal change, the natural tendency of the human body is lazy and tardy with the rise of temperature from cold to hot. To battle this laziness people began this tradition by singing or talking loudly. The music and the movements are louder than usual which helps the human body break out of its monotonous inertia and feel invigorated. Also, the colours that are used to celebrate Holi were traditionally made out of natural ingredients which help to cleanse the body in a natural way. Vegetables like beetroot, flowers like marigold, hibiscus, palash, herbs like red sandalwood, turmeric, amla, etc. were used to make the colours to be used for playing Holi. These not only are safe to use but also good for the skin. Biologists believe that when the natural colours penetrate the skin, it enhances the body ions and add health and beauty to it.

The Indian folk lore has it that Lord Krishna used to take immense delight in applying colour to Radha and other Gopis. This prank of Lord Krishna then translated into a lasting trend and has been continuing for over the centuries.

Besides this, the festival brings together people from all castes, creeds, sects, etc. This time is considered auspicious to forget all past anguish and to start afresh. It instills in people that whatever be the condition, truth triumphs. This is the day, when enemies turn in to friends, there is no differentiation between rich or poor and is celebrated by people all across the country in some form or the other.

Also, due to the vastness and diversity of our country, a lot of sects consider the Holi as their New year according to the Hindu calendar. The new year marks the beginning of the new cycle for the farmers and is celebrated with great pomp and show. Families visit each other, gifts are exchanged, new clothes are bought for the children and yummy sweets make their way to drooling mouths!

However, the modern celebration of Holi tends to take a turn for the worse when people start using chemical based colours that are harmful for the skin or when people take the idea of having fun at someone else’s expense to the extreme. That is not what the festival brings with itself. It brings peace, harmony, love, fun and colours with it. What I can hope is that everyone has a beautiful Holi.

Happy Holi Everyone!!!!
Have a beautiful, safe and colourful Holi!!

Image Sources:- http://www.99hdwallpaper.com/holi/holi-festival-wallpapers.html
wallpapers.oneindia.com/festivals/holi/41359.html
http://www.zoomcar.com/blog/top-5-places-to-celebrate-holi-festival/
festivals.iloveindia.com
wallpaper.krishoonetwork.com
http://www.festivalsking.com

Story help:- http://www.storypick.com/science-behind-celebrate-holi-india/
http://www.holifestival.org/significance-of-holi.html

Company Maketh The Milieu :-)

I have been a part of the professional world for almost 3 years now. Though I want to say it is a big bad world full of wolves waiting in packs to hunt down freshers and make their lives unbearable, I am forced to negate that belief solely based on my experiences of working life!

I had heard horror stories of colleagues being the ones pulling you down, wrap one in office politics and take credit of the work done, indulge in ugly fights or petty arguments. Not that the organizations I have worked so far are an exception to this dark side, but I have been singled out by people who are above these things. Not always, but enough to be blissfully ignorant of the bad guys.

I have worked in three companies so far, and have had a wonderful fortune of having amazing colleagues. Be it the conversations (though not always enlightening), be it the discussion on food, or simply sharing the quirks that might seem on the verge of madness to a lot, I have had the luck to bump into people that I can relate to and am comfortable with.

But it takes time. It has been very rare that a connection clicks the moment I have joined the organization, nor have I had epiphanies to work with them. The whole relationship has taken its time and work for me to be able to call them colleagues with a sense of work ethic as well as being able to share personal details with them without being thrown in to office politics. In fact I can proudly refer to many as very very good friends that I have made for life!

Touchwood!!!

And its not only about being friends.
I look up to them as my mentors too. I look at the senior colleagues with a chance to learn from them, from the experience they have had in life and their professional exploits! I have learnt a lot from the one’s that have had more experience than me. Not always professionally, but in general. They have taught me what mistakes I can avoid. How I can behave in a situation to turn it in my favour. I have learnt to control my impulses to react strongly when a situation does not demand it. I have learnt to be proactive especially when I want to accomplish something. I learn a different thing from each and every colleague that I have so far met. Some can speak well, some can dress well, some can work better under pressure, some are my well wishers, some maintain their distance while being cordial, and some are just really good friends. No, great friends!

One might say that all these thing are a part and parcel of life and are learnt over the course of time. True, but I think it is important for us to not forget the value of the people that we meet during this course of time. Why not thank them where they truly deserve?

I dedicate this post to all my past, present & future colleagues and thank them for helping me grow, pushing me where there was need, shielding me out of your own goodness, and more than anything letting me enjoy coming to work.

Image Source:- http://www.eahl.eu
thistimeimeanit.com

Good Ol’ Days

I think most would agree that school days are the best.

Carefree…
Fun filled…
Innocent…
Pampered…
Friendship….

For me the best days were my graduation days. My college days. My hostel days.

It was my first experience of living in a hostel. Living away from my parents, away from my comfort zone. Stepping in to a different culture, with people coming from different backgrounds, having different thought processes. Of course I did not have the sensitivity or the maturity to understand, accept and cherish the differences of people I met then like I have now. But, perhaps it was there where it was embedded. It was probably the different people I met, shaped how I thought about differences of opinion. It taught me how indifference’s need not always end up in breaking friendships. It just means accepting and enjoying them. It probably makes the relationships stronger.

Looking back 8 years, shows someone, who would not understand the myriad colors and shapes forming around her. She could not fathom the thinking some of her own species could have. Initially, along with the adjustment to the preliminary culture shock, came the rude reality that the innocence of the 18 something individuals had been ripped off long back. Not all of course, and not in very horrific sense of experiences, but taken away nevertheless. From where I was coming from, I did not have to prove anything to anybody. I had had a privileged childhood, but no comparisons to the opposite gender or anybody for that matter. Around me I could see innumerable examples of beautiful, creative, intelligent, girls, at times fighting for their existence. If it were not to exist in the society, perhaps their homes, perhaps their peer groups, perhaps their own notions to be fulfilled. Of course some of them had to be rude to others to instill in themselves that they are better than others. They had to push forward their talents in the ugliest ways because that is the only way they would get noticed. Some had to fight on the lowliest of things because they had to prove they are not the ones to take things lying down. And some, well, some were plain idiots.
But, no, I did not realize it then. I did not realize the thought processes that might have gone in to the different behaviors. I had to enjoy my 3 years with the most amazing people I could ever be with!

I for one had the absolute luck of finding the one of the most horrible roommates ever. She was dominating, a little of a crack head and over all her debacles led to her leaving the institute.

But, where is the luck?

The luck was after she left, I found the most amazing friends I ever could. I had two fantastic roommates. I guess there was some awkwardness initially. We didn’t know what would piss the other off. We tread carefully, each coming from a past experience that was not so good. But, the wave lengths matched. The humor matched. The thought processes matched. Somehow, we knew what the other was thinking or would think. We accompanied one another to late night bathroom visits, we sat next to each other when the other missed home, we cried together when exams came calling. Somehow, everything came together.

The three musketeers found four other mad capers around them. Seven of them, laughing, running, dancing, and most importantly eating, formed the day. Somewhere in between, we had fights, disagreements, ‘discussions’ and though not all forgotten today, most of it is forgiven.

We found ourselves in each other, and yet each had a totally different personality and a totally different thought process. Each had a child like quality in them yet displayed varied degrees of maturity when the situation demanded.

Where one was fond of orderliness and organized cupboards, the other for the life of hers could not fold clothes properly. Where one loved to read, the other got by on understanding the summaries of the novels! One could dramatize each situation, while the other offered sensibility and stability to the madness.

The sad days were celebrated together. The happy days were always there. The birthdays attracted envious glances from those around. Our birthdays in itself could have been a lesson in management, but that is a post for some other day.

It somehow did not feel right to have coffee without making at least 3 cups. One could not, go to the market without the other and it was just wrong to go without a never ending list of things to be bought for the lazy ones. Be it the winter afternoons under the trees eating stale parathas or chilling night with hot coffee, the days and the nights were enjoyed. The nights on the terrace were spent listening to soft music in the background and discussing possibilities, dreams and desires well beyond our realms. Perhaps most of our wardens hated us, but not because we created a ruckus, but we seemed so happy.

The best part?

We all stayed together. We fought, probably not talked for days, but we stayed together. We shared cupboards, clothes, shoes, shampoo, food, stories, crushes, our biggest fears, our stupidest jokes, everything, but we stayed together. Whether or not we enjoyed together, we came together when the other needed us to. Through the 3 years, the mad capers, the incredible friends never changed their rooms. They stayed right there, next to each other, for each other…..